martes, 19 de abril de 2011

Trying to think with a different mind but the same brain




 Is it possible???

Am I still a crazy girl in a biological world where you can´t fight agains your instincts?

I feel happy but lost.

Its long time ago I don´t have this odd feeling, but I can see it is a bit different from last year.

I  feel myself loving the weird things that were looking the same under my skin,  but having a quiet fucking lovely kitty in my legs.

I am enjoying the amusing weekends, the kisses and the smell, I am killing myself against the rest of the world, hating capitalism, going to demonstrations, living a life of dreams with the same bank account, resting on Sunday till the afternoon comes to pick me up. Travelling and taking pictures of everything which seems nonsense. Staring at all the situations and listening to old fashioned music. Thinking too much.... Nevertheless, Im alaways feeling I´m  thinking not enough.

I am thinking that this time won´t come over again and trying to keep it in my mind forever before I forget this moment with this twin towers looking at me at night, hating being alone and loving to do what the fucking I feel like to do. I cant complain but I´m always asking to feel more and more and more.

I am talking about drugs, family, boyfriends, health and death. Always trying to keep my life away from work. Its like being a human being and feeling odd because of that. Is anyone feeling the same out the door? Hello? Can anyone say the same?

Last year at this time I was having more or less the same wishes and the same good purposes: Reading more, drinking less, caring more for the people that deserves it, trying to forget the lost and broken relationships. Is anyone feeling the same???

Could it be that I didn´t have enough embraces when I was less than three years old? Eduard Punset could say it is my problem.

I´m looking forward to have a great Easter in another country to be able to say that in that place I was not the same person than last year, even if I know I will buy the same fucking things. One year ago I was a 60005 for my job, now I look like the same, but I want to feel I grew up a bit more.

Now I want to go to the park, run and feel my heart is coming out of my mouth. Now I would like to think that Granada is a tale to love. That Menorca was a dream that I won´t have anymore and I must  look for it  in some other place near here.

Now I want to have a friend who is a boy like me but fucks me good and feel its the man of my life. Now I want to scream that I hate the dirty things that people does to me. Now I want to be a better peron, whatever the fucking it means, to me or to the others.

Now I want to feel ITS THE MOMENT, whatever it means!!!

Is anyone outside feeling the same like me???



1 comentario:

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